I really connected to this piece of artwork.

Good Morning. I'm not much of a daily talker and mostly the type to talk about emotional and disturbing thoughts and whatever not, but i decided to actually talk about my day...so far that is. Well, i'm feeling OK today. Not too happy, not too upset either. I guess the day is progressing to the good today. That's good. 

I'm in love with this video. It's made by Ryan Woodward. Honestly, his works are all amazing in such a simplicity manner. I'm very impressed. I really like how the movements of his character's contemporary dance is so loose and powering. This isn't the original. I just like this version better because it goes well with the song, the original video is here . I highly recommend this being watch!

Shafieza made me listen to the band Scorpions and told me the story of her parents love when they were young. It's funny and sweet really, her father sang a song from the band called 'Can't live without you' to her mom and her respond was something merely like 'What kind of music is this?!' or something similar to that comment. Anyways, i find this song meaningful. The message is portrayed.

This one is by Vayne . This is very captivating!

This illustration by Meg Park is just adorable.

I think the reason why I don’t speak as often is because I have nothing left to say.

Sisters

My sister is adorable.

The pictures are actually from 3-2 months back and i got my hair chopped of after the photo was taken. So i guess it is pretty old? But i like these pictures. It's rare i take photos with her. I have to wait until she is in the mood to take photos.

Honestly, We are all troubled kids.

I don’t know why I hesitate to socialise anymore.

 In the comforts of my mind, I never found it wrong, but my heart would say otherwise. I guess my care for you was too strong that I cannot even let myself begin lavishing words to another. Only put my head down in shame for how I am still committed to old genuineness.

Someone just save me from my own thoughts please.

I gave it a chance. it was never my intention to believe you from the start, but somehow, your words got into me from day one and now i’m torn into pieces. It’s like whatever you said meant nothing. When i expected everything was to go smoothly, it didnt. When i expected you to understand, you didnt. When i expected for some good kind of change, there wasnt.  How dare you make a fool out of me.

Damn. I hate it when I get sad all of a sudden. All these thoughts just run through my mind and these mixed emotions come in. Then I get stuck listening to sad songs and I begin to lose my cognition. It’s just one of those days. 

I’ve been alone for far too long. I’ve grown up to understand so much. But I’m only still such the child at heart that I never got to be. Trying to go backwards but I can’t because I have to be this way. In order to save myself, I have to grow up. But I’m so unhappy.

-keith

I know, constellations away, as far as infinity would go, i know some how, someone out there wishes for my existence, craving for my being, longing for my love and is impatient to hold on to me, but is patient enough to know that i am on my way.

I don’t really like talking. I don’t know what to say/reply when someone tells me something. I don’t know what to say too, somehow, everything that I’m supposed to say feels like it doesn’t have to be said.

There is really nothing for us to talk about anymore. We are complete strangers now, so when we come across each other one day, don’t stop and stare, keep on walking.

It’s like I’m being sad over nothing. When I say nothing, nothing at all. There’s nothing to be sad about. I’m not that attached and I don’t plan on getting attached with anyone.

I just wanted to break out and rebel.

To just release all this emotional tension i’ve kept to myself for a long while. To just loose control and not care about the consequences. I just sat there, waiting for the right time for society to just brake me down and destroy me. I wanted to vent everything out, i wanted to be heard for once, wanted to scream out this pain inside. But instead, i just sat and waited for time to pass by. I decided to kept in all inside me. Worried on how people would judge me afterwards. I was to scared to be heard. I didnt want to be misinterpreted. So i just sat there. Regretting every flying minute of being mother fucking scared.

I’m craving for what i lack and what i can’t have. Ignoring what is in front of me until it’s no longer there.

The best kind of relief has to be sleep.

That is when you are nothing.

You’re not angry,

You’re not sad,

You’re not lonely,

You’re just nothing.

Lately, I’m lost for words. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

I hate this.

How i don’t go along with my family like other happy families. I’m sorry i’m not the dream ace child. I’m not smart, or talented or anything you ever wanted, i’m sorry okay? I try, but i can’t. I think you should know how it hurts me to know how you don’t like who i am as much as you wish i was.

That feeling knowing how your own mother wish you were someone else. How the whole of you is not what she wanted. There is something better, but you can’t offer it because you just lack it from the very beginning.

Cold Weather

Such a cold morning. It's making me feel like writing something poetic. Like, douche-ly poetic.

Second time on wood. I'm quite satisfied. :)

I call this Rae because this coincidentally looks like her. Ink, watercolor on paper.

Fuck you. Go die. I hope i wont see you anymore.

We have developed this insight that nothing could go wrong, but only until reality checks itself, we have only been observing all the wrongs and never committing to doing what’s right.

This Kills Me.

Here i am with a group of people known as friends. I turn to look away for a minute and then i realized, when i looked back. I was never apart of it from the start. I’m in a standstill. They’re laughing. Never have i felt out of placed. Misplaced in my own reality. I’m an outcast. A misfit. I was so scared. They’re so close yet i feel like i’m watching from a distance. So insecure. Society kills me every time.

Society makes me want to run and hide. To be on my own. To shelter alone. To wonder my existence. To disappear forever

First time painting on wood.

sometimes, growing old with only a cat as your companion seems like a heavenly idea