if being human means that I need to be loved, fuck that. The road to being loved is rough. I don’t need to be “human”. Most especially to be “loved”.

Urgh. Aref is so unreasonable sometimes.

• ME:I'm sorry, i didn't mean to make it sound the way it did. I didnt meant it that way at all.
• A:What you said was mean and cruel.
• ME:Did i hurt you that bad? I said my sorry so many times.
• A:do you know i can block you?
• ME:D:

Such a fuckin' baby. I said sorry u diq

For heart, or mind?

 Your heart is usually the impulse that does not want to miss that opportunity, the throb of anxiety that usually lead to pain if misinterpreted and when followed. The brain is the calculated motion and the master mind which predicts the cons and pros and usually right. but when followed, leads to pain. Both leads to pain, but both keeps you on track. Which shall it be?

Under all these smiles and kind words lies a great amount of depressed, evil-minded creature. Who would have thought, huh.

Drew a portrait of Candy today. :)

I AM GETTING TO THE POINT TO WHERE I AM SO FRUSTRATED THAT I AM ABOUT TO breakdown

and cry or actually stab someone.

For art class.

art=messy

Making art is a messy hobby.

For art class.

“LOVE IS A TEMPORARY MADNESS; IT ERUPTS LIKE VOLCANOES AND THEN SUBSIDES. AND WHEN IT SUBSIDES YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION. YOU HAVE TO WORK OUT WHETHER YOUR ROOTS HAVE SO ENTWINED TOGETHER THAT IT IS INCONCEIVABLE THAT YOU SHOULD EVER PART. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. LOVE IS NOT BREATHLESSNESS, IT IS NOT EXCITEMENT, IT IS NOT THE PROMULGATION OF ETERNAL PASSION. THAT IS JUST BEING IN LOVE, WHICH ANY FOOL CAN DO. LOVE ITSELF IS WHAT IS LEFT OVER WHEN BEING IN LOVE HAS BURNED AWAY, AND THIS IS BOTH AN ART AND A FORTUNATE ACCIDENT. THOSE THAT TRULY LOVE HAVE ROOTS THAT GROW TOWARDS EACH OTHER UNDERGROUND, AND WHEN ALL THE PRETTY BLOSSOMS HAVE FALLEN FROM THEIR BRANCHES, THEY FIND THAT THEY ARE ONE TREE AND NOT TWO.”

-Louis de Beneries

The type of person I want to be

• someone who learns from past experiences, but can forgive and let go of anger.
• someone who is not rude to others regardless of how they themselves act.
• someone who does not play emotional games, who is honest about her emotions.
• someone who is not irrationally angry.
• someone who makes others feel good about themselves.
• someone who can hold interesting conversation with others.
• someone who is open and less judgmental.
• a positive energy

I HAVE THIS STRANGE DESIRE TO NEVER SEE SUNLIGHT AGAIN.

SHIAWASETSUTE, NANDESUKA?

Wakaranai.

I want to be . . .

I want to be someone who inspires.
I want to stir thoughts and emotions.
I want to cause Change.
I want to be someone, who stands out.
Not for wealth, or attention.
But so that my words, my being, may spread, may cause Change, may stir the minds and hearts of others.
Even if they hate me, even if they don’t agree, no matter their thoughts or feelings toward me.
If I can make them feel, make them think, than I am gifted and that is it’s own reward.
I wish to come to the best of my potential.

i’m so glad i have my sister. She loves to cook! I think with her around, i wont be dying of hunger until i move out for college or something. HEE :D

Respect

If you want respect from others, then learn how to respect yourself. That’s what so many people lack. They think that everyone will just immediately bow down and do whatever they say, listen to every little thing; no. Don’t think that because you’re a know-it-all people will respect you from your big title and talents. You’re nothing if you can’t even respect yourself

I miss talking to you

Not because I like you. I just miss those good conversations that kept on going. Those conversations that always made me smile and laugh. I miss our good connection. I just miss our good memories we shared together. I miss everything that happened between us. It sucks to know you don’t even care. But you know what? It’s going to be a new year. I’ll just let the past, be the past.

I hate being so sensitive

I may not show it, but inside, the littlest things kills me. I try hard not to show it, because I hate feeling as I’m weak around people. The littlest things you do to, can hurt me. Not physically but mentally. Imagine when I deal with a heartbreak.

I don't get it

Why am i always feeling lonely? Even with all these people around me? Even if i was cheering in a cheerful and noisy crowd, even if i was sitting with even only one person next to me? Maybe because all my thoughts end the same; no matter what you do, how you’ve lived and what impact and legacy you’ve once left behind, you will always be only one individual. You are only one person. You, yourself will always, in the end, stand alone. 

How can I deal with insanity if the only thing that keeps me sane is far from my reach? The only person that loves me, for me.